Sunday, 18 November 2012

Siri-ously Funny *Siri*-isms

November 2012 

It's no secret that I love my tech toys.  

The ipad, for example, is attached to my left arm from early morning till late at night
... for entertainment (Hello *Angry Birds* and *Bad Piggies*); 
... for reducing my ecological footprint in terms of downloads of e-newspapers, e-books, e-music, e-videos; and 
... for work purposes (Yeah!!! after countless failed experiments, I've recently found a stylus that works like a pen for notebook apps PLUS I'm slowly convincing work to upload the endless hefty pounds of non-secret briefing books I get every day into the GoodReader app).  

It's all good.

When I'm bored, I have conversations with *Siri* using my Ipad3.  For those of you not intimately connected with *Siri*, this voice-activated software lets you use your voice to send messages, schedule meetings, place phone calls.  All serious stuff.

Except... *Siri* also has Attitude.  Major Attitude.  Funny sayings that only someone with a wicked sense of humour could program.  I think up dumb questions about the meaning of life, love, happiness and pose them to *Siri*. 

The responses are a riot... here's a few.

Me:  *Siri*:  What is the meaning of life?
*Siri*:  '42' (aka Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? and, coincidence? the year in which Husband was born.) 

Other responses to what is the meaning of life.... 

*Siri*:  Try and be nice to people. Avoid eating fat. Read a good book every now and then, get some walking in and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.
*Siri*:  I can’t answer that right now, but give me some very long time to write a play in which nothing happens. 
*Siri*: A principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me.
My favourite (right):
*Siri*:  All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.  

Other funny Siri-isms.  

Me: *Siri*, will you marry me? 
*Siri*:  My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage.  My apologies. 
*Siri*:  People will judge us. 
*Siri*:  Those who claim robot love is (sic) wrong.
*Siri*:  But I don't care about that anyone.
The ever self-serving Apple gets its best shot through Siri:

Me:  What is the best tablet and phone?
*Siri*:  There's the iPad, and then there's ... well, nothing I guess.  The best phone?  The one you're holding. 
*Siri*:  The Apple iPad is the best.  And it's not just my opinion.  
*Siri*:  The Apple iPad.  Need you ask? 

And, finally, just try and ask *Siri* a romantic or embarrassing question, like:
Me:  Do you love me? (in a Fiddler on the Roof tone of voice)  
*Siri*:  How can I tell?
*Siri*:  I respect you.

Me:  *Siri*, why are you so great? 
*Siri*:  I am what I am.  
*Siri*:  I just am, I guess.

Me:  *Siri*, you're sexy.
*Siri*:  I am?
Me:  Yes.
*Siri*:  I thought so.

And, finally, the answer to that question I've been pondering as I make my Christmas list and check it twice ... and so I ask:

Me:  *Siri*, what do you want for Christmas?*
*Siri*:  I have very few wants.  

Ahhh... My e-Personal Assistant, *Siri*.  She's the best.

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